January 27, 2012

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Protecting Your Children During a Divorce

Children in Jerusalem.

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The dissolution of a marriage is hard enough when it’s just the interested parties involved, but it becomes infinitely more difficult when it involves children. The parents may understand why they need to break apart, but the children may not even be mentally mature enough to understand the split, and there’s great risk of damaging them in the process. That’s why, should you be entangled in divorce, it’s crucial to take steps to protect your children.

The most important thing to realize is that for the child, the parents and the unity of the family are the sole source of stability and safety in a frightening world. Divorce threatens the framework through which the children have understood their life so far; they don’t have the grounding that adults acquire through maturity, which makes it possible to rebound more easily from tragedy.

Faced with the loss of all they know in a way they don’t comprehend, children are likely to blame themselves, deciding that it must be their fault that their parents no longer love each other. They may even conclude that their parents must no longer love them, which can cause them great psychological trauma.

Responsible parents must put aside any hostility they feel toward each other during their interactions with their children. Parents must agree to work together to communicate clearly to the children that the divorce is nobody’s fault, and in no way means that Mommy and Daddy love the children any less.

Parents must present to their children a front that is as unified as their own relationship is divided. That paradox is the only way of ensuring that the children come through the trauma of divorce with as little damage as possible. Whatever is happening in the parents’ relationship, they owe the children the security of knowing that they are loved. For those who need guidance, they can find help in many places, from FL child supprt to divorce counseling in Colorado.

Filed Under: Education Tagged With: , ,

Getting Ready For the Next Day

Homes can seem to be in a state of chaos when it comes to getting everyone out the door for school. Sometimes it is followed by another little aftershock when everyone comes back home at the end of the day. One of the ways to cut down on the chaos is to add a little bit of organization to the routine. It may take some getting used to but it will give you peace of mind during the hectic times at home.

Plan ahead. The night before school everyone needs to get their school things ready. Homework should already be in their backpack. Library books, teacher notes and pencils should all be ready to go. There is no need to go on a major search for these things right before walking out the door. While you can’t put a lunch into the backpack to sit overnight, you can go ahead and pack it and leave it in the refrigerator. The kids will only need to add the lunch to their bags and they are ready for the day. Websites such as 411.ca will also be able to help you with your dilemma.

Lay out clothes the night before. Not just the shorts and the t-shirts. If they are going to take a shower in the morning, have them lay out their underwear, socks and shoes as well. You can check each child to make sure that his or her attire will match the day that they are going to have at school. Check the weather. If a jacket is going to be necessary, lay it out with the clothes. Because this is done, there is very little guesswork in the morning.

Filed Under: Education, Parenting Tagged With: , , ,

How to Help Your Teen Get an Auto Refinance

Your teen is growing up. You may not be ready for it, but it is happening just the same. Part of that rite of passage is receiving their driving license and then a car. If your teen is preparing to buy their first vehicle, a parent will be an integral part of that purchase.

Most parents want to help their teen as much as possible when it comes to navigating the paths to adulthood. Helping them to build good credit would be one of those times. This would include the purchase of a car, even if they will be working to pay for it.

If your teen has already purchased a car with a high interest rate, you may want to consider helping them with a car refinance. Many car dealerships in the past gave loans with high interest rates, especially to those without a good credit history. As a parent you may want to consider helping your teen refinance their car loan. This probably will not be an option without your help, though.

There are a few good reasons to consider refinancing:

  1. If you help your child refinance, your child will end up with a lower monthly payment.
  2. Your child will be able to pay off the loan much faster.
  3. Your child will be building up a good credit background.
  4. Your child is building a good foundation for the future.

Most companies that do car refinancing can be accessed online. The application is usually easy to fill out and does not require an application fee. In most cases, you will have an answer within a few hours.

 

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: , , ,

Talking About Drugs and Alcohol

Talking to your teen about drugs and alcohol is a very tough thing for many parents. If this is your first child, it can be that much more difficult, because you may not know what to say to them. Unfortunately for all parents out there, this is a topic that must be discussed for the well being of your child and your family. There are some things to keep in mind when you are talking to your teen about drugs and alcohol.

Think About Your Beliefs

Though this may include religious beliefs, it also includes your personal thoughts on drugs and alcohol. If you feel that they are, in no uncertain terms, wrong, then this is something that you should convey to your child. On the other hand, if you feel that, for example, alcohol when used in moderation is perfectly fine for adults, this is something that should be said.

Don’t be Confrontational

Accusing your child of something, or even just having a tone of voice that makes them think you are accusing them, can be extremely detrimental to the conversation. Even if you are concerned that you child is drinking alcohol or doing drugs, it is something that should be approached cautiously. Don’t start the conversation with an accusation – it will just go downhill from there.

Talking to a child about drugs and alcohol can rival the sex talk, in the eyes of many parents. It is not always a comfortable situation, but it is something that should be discussed. Talk about rules and consequences, so that your child fully understands what may happen.

Filed Under: Counseling, Tips Tagged With: , ,

Download Your Favorite Albums from Your Phone with Muve Music

Cricket Communications logo 

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The world of smartphones is evolving every day. It’s not about what they can do, it’s about how they can do more. Every latest idea and gimmick is making the market bigger and more powerful. Cricket’s Muve phone is another step in the world of smartphones, and it’s taking the world by storm.

The Muve music phone isn’t the first phone to download music, but it might have the best incentive in the world. You can download not just your favorite song, but your favorite albums as well. And you can do it all for a fraction of the cost of most traditional music phones. The way the Muve works is it allows you to buy a subscription to their music service and download anything you want, as much as you want, every month for one flat fee. So if you order 40 songs or 400 songs in a month, it’s all the same price.

Not only do you get to experience the joy of having total music downloading freedom, but you get to experience it wherever you are. Through the Bluetooth capabilities, you can now play your music through a set of designer Bluetooth headphones, any home stereo system, or any car stereo with Bluetooth capabilities. It truly is everything you want from a music phone from a provider that already gives you Cricket Blackberry.

Stop wasting your time forking over money to download music. Pay one flat rate and enjoy all the features of your phone with none of the money headache. Muve is that good and that simple.

 

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Helping Your Teen with Money Management

Teens often have the mentality that if they have money, they need to spend it. This is something that usually goes away with age, but it can be a problem as you are trying to teach them how to spend their money more wisely and save for the future.

There are lots of things you can do to help your teen with money management. Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Have them do chores to earn an allowance to pay for their own things. This is a lot better than giving them money every time they request it.
  • Give them a Tom Joyner Reach Card and load small amounts of money on to it. This is a great idea because your teen can start to build credit without being at risk of going into debt.
  • Help them create a budget. Everyone does better with their money when they are keeping track of where it is going.
  • Make it mandatory that your teen save at least half of their paycheck for college or some other large expense in the future.
  • Encourage your teen to get a job. This way you won’t have to keep giving them money for every little expense.
  • Help your teen learn the difference between a need and a want. The biggest problem is that teens always want the latest and greatest thing, and they could save a lot of money by waiting for it to go on sale.

These are just a few ideas to help your teens with money management. Just remember that every teen will need a different approach.

 

Filed Under: Education, Parenting, Tips Tagged With: , ,

Dealing With Out of Control Teenagers

Parenting a new born is difficult, but parenting a teen can seem absolutely impossible. If you’ve got a teen who seems prone to rebellion, a little discipline may be exactly what’s in order. You don’t need to make drastic changes in order to keep your teen in line. The key is to make some subtle changes but to stick to them so your teen knows you are serious. Given time, your teens are likely to respect the newly implemented house rules making your life a whole lot easier.

First, establishing firm house rules if none are in place is an essential step in parenting teenagers. Teens who are allowed to stay out to all hours of the night generally find trouble at some point. Make your teen accountable to you by setting a strict curfew. Allow them an extra hour or two on weekend evenings but make sure they respect the time you have set. Should they break established curfew, scale back the time they are allowed to stay out for a period of time until the trust is earned again.

Next, by the time a kid reaches teen years, he should have a set of established chores. Not only will this help you as the parent, but it teaches responsibility and work ethic prior to entering the work force. Do not let your teens be lazy and shirk household chores. This is a dangerous path towards parenting a non-working adult which in turn means you could be helping them out with money for a very long time.

Take simple steps to disciplining your teen. The most important thing is to enforce the new rules.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Helping Teens Decide on Their Future Career

In 2009, Time magazine placed M.I.A. in the Ti...

Image via Wikipedia

While it may seem too early to focus on your teen’s future career, start the conversation as early as possible to give your teen the support needed to clarify a future career path. Teens may seem preoccupied with dating, looking their best in LRG clothing and wearing the right brand of sneakers, but some teens really do wonder about their future profession as well. Will they be doctors, lawyers, rap stars or teachers?

Staying Detached as a Parent

One of the harder things to do as a parent of a teenager is to stay detached from the vision and hopes that you’ve always had for your son or daughter. Maybe you come from a family of businesspeople and hope that your teen will follow in your footsteps. Or maybe you like that your teen expresses himself through LRG Clothing and rap music, but prefer that he not pursue a career in the entertainment industry.

Whatever your personal preferences may be, it’s best to treat your teen as his own person. This may be much easier to contemplate in theory than in practice, but pushing your teen to ignore his or her personal wishes and fulfill your expectations instead may lead to feelings of confusion.

Ask Your Teen Some Questions

The best guidance you can give about a future career path is to ask some questions. What activities does your teen truly enjoy? What are his or her favorite school subjects? Introduce your teen to a variety of professions and then observe any and all reactions. Encourage the options that bring a smile to your teenager’s face.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Why a Curfew is Important

When it comes to giving a curfew it might be a challenge to come up with just the right time to expect the kids. Should it be decided based on their age, their behavior, their friends? The answer is yes to all. Coming up with a curfew is a great way for parents to lay out their expectations and at the same time let their kids know that they care.

A curfew provides boundaries. It lets kids know that there is a line drawn and as a parent your expectation is that they are home on time. When there is no specific time given, problems can start to arise. Just like the idea of a clean room means something entirely different to you than it does to your teenager, so do the words, “don’t stay out too late.” For a teenager it might mean that as long as they get home before the sun comes up, they haven’t stayed out too late.

When you give a curfew, it may not seem like your teenager is really seeing how much you care about them. In fact, by their words and actions, you may feel like the worst parent in the world. This might be the time when they explain to you that So and So’s parents let them stay out at least one hour later that the time you have them. Just hold tight to what you have told them. Eventually they will realize that you are giving them a specific time because you love them and you care about them. Your main job is to love them and keep them safe.

Filed Under: Education, Parenting Tagged With: , , ,

Teen Rebellion: Allow a Little

The telephone, the computer and friends are all your teen is going to be interested in for a few years.  It is right after puberty that teens seek social interaction with peers in such a way that the family of the teen will come in second place.  This is normal and healthy.  This is temporary and after this period is over, the family is number one again for a while.  But until then, we have to guide them in the right direction without seeming too much like the dictator.

 

Dictating to your teen is extremely counter productive to what you want as a result.  Telling them who they can be friends with will only drive them towards the friends you do not want them around. Telling them to stay away from a boy or girl they are interested in, will only succeed in driving them closer together and could have devastating results.  They could fall so hard for that person that they do not care about the consequences.  This would have started simply because you told them not to do something.  That is all it will take.

 

You have to be sensitive to a teens need to be independent, and step in only when you feel they are in danger.  Even then, you have to use a certain amount of care in doing this; they can still be sensitive enough to rebel against you even if they are in danger of going to jail or worse.  We don’t even want to imagine what the “worse” would be.

 

The name of the game is rebellion, how do we as parents win the game?  We don’t.  We allow a certain amount of rebellion in order to keep the larger more dangerous rebellious activities from coming to head.  Their hormones will make them emotional and quick to react and change their minds.  We can avoid the worst rebellious activities by simply allowing our teen to be just that, a teen.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: , ,
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