Being the parent of a teenager is not an easy job. Communication is essential when it comes to making sure that you and your child are on the same page. Part of communicating is having clear expectations. What are clear expectations? It means that when you have a request of your child you make sure that they know exactly what they are supposed to do. Everyone has had the moment when they throw out a request without any specifics.
You ask him to clean up his room. For you, this is a clear expectation. In your mind you can picture exactly what a clean room looks like (even though you may not have seen one in years). However, is your definition of clean the same as your teenagers? Probably not. So, instead of getting frustrated when you walk in and find that everything was shoved into the closet, take a few extra minutes to explain what a clean room looks like to you. Let them know that you purchased a hamper for their dirty clothes and that is the only acceptable place for them. Talk to them about what it means to be able to look in the closet and pick out an outfit for school. Be specific.
While this is making life easier for you, it actually means a great deal to your child as well. No one likes to work hard and end up feeling like they fell short of the mark. When you ask him to do something and he doesn’t complete the task all the way, or the right way, you both are ending up worse than when you started. But, if you let him know exactly what you want him to do, he will know the point at which he is successful and he will be able to relax, knowing that you are both on the same page.
